I have been meaning to write this for a bit. I had a really good conversation with a female (gasp) friend of mine and fellow blogger about dating and my love of gaming. She herself isn’t into video games. I mentioned in a previous post that I have no problem finding girls who aren’t into video games,it’s just that I cannot find ones girls who are into them. However the women and gaming problem has always existed since the first bits were created for our amusement and it will probably continue do so until the end of days. In no way am I saying a side is wrong (when I get into the post it will all make sense) for what they believe. I’m saying these are the most six most common reasons that I’ve found when I polled people randomly on the street . Take it for what it is, a Family Feud type list with some common explanations and reflections thrown in. I know there are girls out there who play video games and some guys may have some of the same reasons for not liking games as well. I was debating on numbering the reasons in a count down format but instead I’ll just list them in no particular order.
Even if your crew looks like this,she won't care
If you engage in a hobby or sport you know what this means. You surround yourself with like-minded people. Whether it be your poker night, being a weekend warrior, watching the game, etc. You get the idea the people that you do things with are usually into same stuff you’re into. Obviously there’s varying degrees of it. Video games are no different. People have their guilds, crews, clans, whatever you can think of that they usually game with and they in some cases hang out with them outside of what they do. This idea more than likely terrifies your girlfriend for the simple fact of the stigma that’s associated with people who play video games (which is on this list.) It’s alright to play online or single player but when you’re hanging out with your video game buddies, that’s a problem. Part of it could be because she doesn’t want to accept the fact that the guy/gal she’s dating/banging is a card carrying nerd and that may not sit too well for her ego/social standings or whatever. When she’s with her crew and they are talking about whatever it is they talk about and the topic of what their mates are doing comes up everyone says their significant other are doing something ‘normal’ (watching the game, at the gym ,bar with friends, etc) and she has to say ‘Mine went off to play video games with his friends tonight’ .
because she'll see this.
Another reason why your crew could be an issue ties into another reason on this list, immaturity. She could be assuming that even though you’re mature, you are hanging around immature dudes or kids and that’s just no bueno. Everyone wants to feel as if they are dating someone that’s mature. When you’re a teenager being into video games is fine and going over to your friends house to play some Halo or Street Fighter is the norm because you can’t do anything else because you’re a teen. You can’t get into any age restricted places. If you’re doing it when you are over 25, not so good. A good reason that the people you game with could be creepy to her is because no one wants to chill with that creepy guy who dresses like Jesse or that dude that dresses like Misty at conventions, why would she want them hanging out at your place with her?
This was one of the lesser used reasons, I didn’t really get this reason when I asked around about this topic. I felt as if it was the straw man out of all them for the simple fact that immature people/bad company are present everywhere. It just seems more socially acceptable to hang out with those people watching the game or going to the bar/club with your homies after work rather than to going to a session (offline fighting game meet up) or raid (dungeon instance) with your guild. I guess appearance is more important than actual function.
The next reason I came across was way more clear cut.
She always calls when he's here
.
He was many things but for kids was not one of them
This was a very common one. Video gaming is a billion dollar industry. It’s right up there with pornography but they both are what I like call being in the shadow industries, meaning that no matter how much money they gross annually they will have a hard time being accepted by the Old-Guard mindset, regardless of how mainstream they become. Video games have been around since the 70′s and have had a healthy following of teens and young children. Some adults pick up gaming new but usually children that start out gamers usually grow into adult gamers, few of them stop playing for a while but in time sometimes they do come back. Some females believe that you should have ‘grown’ out of that phase of your life, by playing video games in adulthood you are still trying to hold on to your childhood or you just haven’t matured enough yet. To those same people video games appear to be an escape – an escape from responsibility, your life what it is right now, reality, etc. Video games are make-believe and that you should not engage in it as an adult. They are believed to hinder social skills . You shun person to person contact for all digital interaction. They also aren’t productive. You spend X amount of hours in-front of your console/PC of choice and once you’re done playing, what have you accomplished. You’ve gained levels, saved a world/princess/reality, got some kills and prestige’d.
What does that translate to in the real world, for the most part nothing. Working in the industry is one thing because it’s your job and it provides for you and your family, having them as a hobby is a different story. Part of this could be how they are marketed (characters that appear on box arts and in ads), part of it is the ‘old guard’ mentality that prevents some people from moving forward with their concepts of some things (my mom will call every thing a Nintendo, while this generation of parents will probably call everything Xbox or PlayStation.) So if they think video games are for kids they will always be for kids, just as collecting stamps is for weirdos (just kidding).
.
Someone is clearly having more fun
At first I was hesitant to bring this reason up after someone mentioned it. It seemed a little one sided but as I did quite a few people agreed. When someone is playing video games it’s usually a very attention consuming affair,especially in this current generation. Today’s games usually have deep stories, complex controls and higher learning curves with a ramped difficulties (Demon Souls I’m looking directly at you) vs the simpler control schemes and straight forwardness of yesteryear’s games (goddamn Metroid just dropped you on a planet and told you to deal with it…yes I’m still salty about getting exposed.) With the addition of online play which brings a familiar element back into play, competition. Playing online now means you can have your wins and losses, kill/death ratios, headshot count, etc tracked and you are ranked vs everyone who is playing that game in the world on that console. So there is a little extra incentive to pay a bit more attention to what you’re doing. RPG’s (role playing games) have gotten so intense that you can just spend hours doing the side missions and living a normal life in game without doing any questing. People often tend to get sucked into these (that’s what she said) type of games fairly often and it is not uncommon to hear of a relationship ruined by a video game. Where does this leave your honey? Last year a study was conducted and it found sixty-three (63) percent of the population play video games. That’s several times larger than the percent who are reported that they read for fun. So statistically speaking they aren’t reading. If you’re in a household with one television (they exist, trust me) then she’s not watching her favorite shows while you’re gaming. If you’re playing online it’s fairly safe that they aren’t watching it via the Internet because you know about the lag that it causes. So what’s left? You can set the women’s lib movement back and tell her get in the kitchen. Unless you’re dating a musician, artist, film student, writer, some sort of creative type, someone who can do job related stuff from home or a chef, I guess there’s a good chance she’s going to be bored to tears while you play especially since they are going to more than likely be at your place.
This sets up the next reason which we will cover in part 2 along with my thoughts on the whole topic.
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