Gaming Embarrassments #3 – Resident Evil Recital

Memory cards were a foreign concept before the 32 bit era had hit. Once the Sony PlayStation had landed, gamers were introduced to a portable form of game saves, without bringing the whole video game with them. While a majority of current generation consoles and handhelds utilize internal storage via HDD or flash memory, the memory card, despite its storage limitations during their early days, were a beneficial method of save data. Apparently some of us never got the memo back when the Sony PlayStation was released.

My dad had purchased a PSX soon after its release, along with a handful of games, including ESPN Xtreme Racing (I know I know), Tekken and Ridge Racer, which was bundled with the system. While none of the three titles listed needed a memory card to back up vital gameplay progress (I didn’t mind nor care about beating Tekken over and over to unlock characters) one particular game did need it – Resident Evil. Purchased on the day of release, we spent quite a bit of time playing this survival horror game and its initial segments. Over and over again.

We would find ink ribbons throughout the beginning segments, yet never understood what the game meant when we used the ink ribbon on the typewriter. It would ask us to “insert a memory card” which made no sense. Why would a typewriter with an ink ribbon need a memory card? To someone who went from purchasing a Commodore 64 to a Sega Genesis to a Sony PlayStation, it was easy to see that the mental lapse happened, especially since we never bothered to read instruction manuals. We never even noticed the slots above the controller ports either.

So for a month, way after my dad had given up with the system and conceded to the fact that I would take it for my own (like I did with his Sega Genesis), I would play the same portion over and over, always dying to the giant snake. It got so bad that I completely memorized every scene up to that point, and would recite them out loud, complete with vocal tuning. Whether it was Chris or Jill’s game, I would imitate the voices of each person that spoke, every zombie from every area and other timed actions. I would always wonder where the fabled “memory card” would be, and I spent hours and hours in each room available, combing through every nook and cranny, but to no avail.

After that month long  journey through the same areas looking for this fabled relic, my dad comes home one day and gives me a brand new memory card he had purchased. Not only was I completely embarrassed that this memory card was an external plug in, but I had permanently burned the entire beginning portion of Resident Evil into my brain, which would haunt me for years and years to come. Not only would I have dreams of these sections, but anytime I witness someone playing this game, I begin to recite every line spoken in that first area.

I wish I was a Jill sandwich.