365//365: Day 317 – Fist of the North Star (GB) [PP]

"It's more like Fist of Uranus."

Picking up a turd twenty years ago and picking up the same turd again right this very second have a similar enough property to them. Even if it’s become fossilized, you’re still handing a piece of crap. This best sums up Fist of the North Star on the Nintendo Game Boy. In the past, it was a piss poor excuse of a video game, and years later, it remains the same. Even for a Game Boy title, the visual quality lacked, with maybe four to six different frames in total for each character, placed upon uninspiring background. The audio, sans the somewhat well composed ending theme, contain poorly looped musical interludes with meager effects that barely represent what they should. The real kicker though, has to do with the controls and gameplay. The stiff nature of the mechanics don’t help the player out whatsoever, but on top of that, depending on what character you choose, the experience ends up being either a button masher or a bland pattern chaser. Watch as your adversary jumps about like a complete buffoon, as you chase them on their descent and flail at their legs, repeating the pattern until they lose all their health. You can even box in combatants in the corner, slapping away on B or A, catching them if they move too far away from the corner. There’s absolutely no strategy to anything in this game, not from the “experience points” you gain that “levels” your character to make your “attacks” more opposing. If you’re a die hard Fist of the North Star fan, then you’ll definitely want to pass up the chance of owning this turd. No matter how much time has passed, the stench remains prominent.

You can literally whip most opponents to death in the corner. There's no intelligence or bravado to anything that Fist of the North Star.

Rating: 0.8