Old-School Challenge ~Street Fighter 2 (Genesis)~

Hey folks, Krismas here with another installation of pre-easy mode gaming for you all to enjoy. I’m bringin it back to a classic this time so whip out the Sega controllers and your everlasting patience, you’re gonna need it for this game.
Now I am damn sure everyone should have some inkling as to what Street Fighter is. Yes that magical franchise that has helped shape the fighting game genre into the proud beast it is today. Ever wonder how someone played this game in 1994 when there wasn’t a nearby arcade? Well neither did I but it is actually a question where the answer would most likely raise more questions. The truth is that those unfortunate people without access to an arcade or any other means of Street Fighter awesomeness were forced to buy it on console, the less fortunate having to resort to the Sega Genesis port. I bet some of you are saying “hey that isn’t that bad!” but we are going to look at the facts today.

The Street Fighter series had taken arcade scenes by storm during the early 90’s. Everyone has played it at one point or another if they frequented any kind of arcade spot and for those who enjoyed the game it was like a hit of that good crack you’d sell your left nut for, and for those of you who are testicularly challenged, your left breast. The glory of the arcade cabinet meant you can play with a joystick and six-button layout, a must have experience for any SF fan. What this meant for the people at home is that they had to use controllers. Now I know this may have slipped some peoples minds that the 6-button controller was released alongside the much anticipated Street Fighter 2: Champion Edition, but we must do this with everybody in mind and not everyone was lucky enough to buy such a hot commodity. For some they had access to stock default Sega controllers that only had access to three buttons. This meant that in order to go from punches to kicks one had to press the start button on the fly, a most annoying procedure. Even without taking that into account early generation controllers had not come a long way. Assuming you had six buttons to work with you still had to deal with how unresponsive the buttons could be, especially after some wear and tear. This meant life and death in SF, as well as most other games, but the real kicker comes from the directional inputs. Seriously, trying to input something as simple as a hadoken went from a simple motion to trying to convince your mom you weren’t jerking off to the very obvious porno film flashing silently on your tv as she walks in holding your baby fresh laundry on a Sunday night. God forbid you try to do a full fledged combo as the heavens did not grace you with the proper technology to do so.
Let’s face it guys n gals, the Sega Genesis was not capable of a whole lot. Groundbreaking for its time, but still it could only do so much. Street Fighter was not included in the can-do list. A game that tests your reaction time could not have asked for a worse host than the Genesis. SF moved at a snails pace which meant you had all the time in the world to plan out the attacks that you weren’t going to be able to execute. Not only did it move incredibly slow but the Genesis couldn’t make the game look pretty at all. Wanted to hear a great soundtrack? Too bad, the sound for this particular port of the game was worse than your elementary school’s first recorder lesson. The Genesis does not treat this port kindly in any way when it comes to audio or visual.

As an avid Street Fighter fan I did not think that I would have less fun playing the game than I did while playing vanilla SF4 but it seems all I had to do was look to the past for a more painful experience. Do not get me wrong, my personal bias towards SF2 and any of its 9000 variations is not what is making me say that I would rather play God of War 3 on easy mode than the Genesis port of SF2. Wait no scratch that, I think I would still rather play three-button Street Fighter 2 with horrible sound and graphics. Either way what makes this game truly hard to play is the system it’s been ported to. The oh so loveable Genesis lets us down for this title. Avoid this port at all costs. Street Fighter 2 is still great even though I think its filled with nothing but unfiltered horseshit and tomfoolery.
Well folks this has been an interesting one. To help better demonstrate the tragic let down I have forced myself to endure I have enlisted the help of CL’s very own Phire to assist me in some exhibition matches for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy! Stay tuned next week for a nice treat and a title that the Genesis has blessed greatly, a title that still shines a bright gold in my eyes. Until next time folks this is Krismas heading back on the road of a world warrior.