365//365: Day 133 – Shaq Fu (SNES) [PP]

Shaq Fu. What else can be said about this hack of a game? The story is pure nonsense that makes Michael Jordan’s Chaos in the Windy City seem plausible. In fact, they both share the all-star charity game exposition, but where Windy City had the semblance of a video game underneath the brainless story set up, Shaq Fu just said “screw it” and sent in the clowns. The controls are mutilated. Special moves just don’t work. The jumping physics feels like Virtua Fighter on a bungee cord, with some of the most unnecessarily floaty jump mechanics ever. Damage calculation is beyond broken. Why does my opponent gain health when blocking an attack, take 2% damage when landing a hard sweep, and take excessive amounts of damage when being hit by a jumping weak kick? The music is the same four seconds of beats looped with miscellaneous sounds added to it. The character models look out of place to the poorly colored backgrounds. My God I can’t go on with this review any further, so I’ll leave you all with a haiku that should sum up Shaq Fu in a nutshell:

Shaq plus fighting games
Equals what you think it would
A game with no balls

I....what the....

Rating: 0.1