The Worst Weather in Video Games

Thanks to the recent release of the PS3 exclusive HEAVY RAIN, over here at CLGamer, I decided to take a break from my how-to series to put together a list of our most hated weather conditions in games. Descending in no particular order are some of the most annoying natural obstructions we’ve witnessed in gaming history. If any of your favorites didn’t make the list, hit the comments section below and tell us your best.

Game Title – Level or Section – Weather Condition

• Megaman 10 – Tankman – Sand Storm
  

So you’re casually strolling along on your way to dismantle the body of an enemy android in the shape of a mobilized military weapon, and you say to yourself “I got this, all I have to do is jump over some spikes, commit robot genocide, and explode some indespensable asshole with some shit taped to his head.” Easy, right?” WRONG. Your worst enemy is the cruelty of the elements themselves. You thought Splash Woman was the only female Antagonist in the Megaman series? Ol’ Mother Fucking Nature has had her hand in Megaman’s demise this whole time. As the winds pick up and throw you at their will, blinding your very perception of direction, your only concern is to keep your footing as this torturous rain of glass and rock pelts your body pushing you closer to a pitfall away from death.

• COD: Modern Warfare 2 – Cliffhanger – Snow Storm

So this storm is so bad that you can for the most part sneak around in plain sight, and using your radar, pick off enemies of your choosing along the way. But of course the issue at hand is that, “if the enemy can’t see you, then you can’t-

feel your dick.”

• Donkey Kong Country – Ropey Rampage – Thunder Storm
  

So maybe it was just a fancy way to make fanboys cum over the SNES processing pow er, as they stared into the screen saying “I can actually see the rain drops!”, but it was effective, and impressive for the time. Seeing the storm take place as you barreled through the level, as lightning strikes brightened your path, this was for many one of the first and most dynamic expressions of weather in a game. But that prettiness doesn’t get it off the hook for making it impossible to see those asshole rolling armadillos. Fuck their shit.

• HEAVY RAIN – HEAVY RAIN – HEAVY RAIN
  

It’s somewhat discomforting.

• Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time – Zelda flee’s Ganon – Convenient Storm

Seriously, the timing of this shit. Does Ganon bring nasty clouds and brimstone wherever he goes? It just feels as though Koji Kondo is in the background of this scene with his own little Ocarina of Timely weather conditions playing his heart out to the Song of Storms.

• Patapon – Every level of the game – Every Weather Condition Imaginable

I’d love to be more specific, but this game is just too broad. As you lead your Patapons into battle fighting dragons, spiders, and enemy tribes, just about every weather condition you could think of seems to get in your way and thwart your quest for glory. Thinking about crossing the desert? Enjoy some fried Pata-poppers.Thought that Mammoth in the tundra seemed doable? Not when you have a whole fresh tray of Pata-popsicles. Trying to hit that fortress with some arrows? With the wind blowing like that, you’re more likely to be… like… something like toothpicks in hors d’oeurves, I can’t think of a pun, but imagine the visual.

• Resident Evil 4 – Right Before the Waterfall – Rain
  Skip to 6:35, then Kill Yourself

When I say raining, you think I mean the natural release of precipitation thanks to a rising climate and blah blah blah. What you need to know is that this is a rain… OF TERROR. The second that parasite decides to birth itself out of that old man’s skull, be thankful Leon’s soaked or you’d lose faith in your hero seeing his piss-stained pants and baby bitch tears.

• Demon’s Souls – Valley of Defilement – Poison Fog

Posion Fog….. POISON… FOG.

• Super Mario Sunshine – Delfino Isle – Beautiful Sunshine

Melanoma is no laughing matter. Did you see Mario once put on sunscreen on his trip to Delfino Isle? Neither did I. It only takes one burn.