A How-To Guide/Story of Getting Your Partner into Video Games: Prologue

Chances are, if you’re interested enough to look online  for articles about gaming and gaming related media, video games are a pretty big part of your life. Therefore, it’s important to you that if you happen to stumble across a person who you have romantic and passionate (a.k.a. penetrative) relations with, that they too can enjoy your virtual life. Throughout this series, I’ll explain to you the steps I took myself to break down the connotations and related thoughts with gaming in order to help my partner, Sabba, understand why I like making a fat Italian grub for money and an emo special agent mutilate Ganados for the sake of the President.  And hopefully you to can be successful in order to…

MAKE YOUR PLAYER TWO!

And as a last side note, you may be asking “Why say partner, you clearly mean girlfriend.” I refer to your partner this way to be as encompassing as possible, there is a world of gamers out their with different backgrounds, different preferences and different interests.  The least we can do at CLGamer is not be exclusive.

Before we begin to explain the steps needed to make this conversion, we need to look at the factors surrounding the situation. Video Games as an art form are one of the least respected mediums of expression and culture. Faux-psychologists will falsely claim that games lead to anti-social personality traits and violence every year, yet no actual conclusive studies of these have ever really been tested or proven. Unfortunately, we’re all aware of the stigmas involved with gaming, and if you’re the kind of person who doesn’t actually play games yourself (in this case, your partner) then all of your info about this wonderful world is solely based on shitty half truth sensationalized news reports. With this in mind, it may seem like a daunting task to reel your partner into a world with such heavy claims held against it, but there’s still hope. The most important thing to remember is this:

GAMES ARE FUN

That’s why we play them. That’s why we read about them in our spare time and wait for the coming news of anything we can get our hands on. Unless your partner is some uber serious jerk face who has already decided video games are kiddy bullshit, then you WILL be able to shed the same light on them as you have for yourself by playing them. Also, if that’s who you’re dating, then you should probably be taking some time out of your life to first: Hit it. Then afterwords when you get an opportune chance: Quit it.

The steps in this series are proven to work. Proven by whom you ask? “Me and my girl friend Sabba” I answer. “Who are they?” you ponder. “Let’s discontinue this hypothetical conversation so that I can tell you”, I respond.

Sabba Hussain: This is Sabba. Previous to this outing she was not a gamer, yet with persistence and hard work on my part, I manipulated the fuck out of her until she loved games as much as I do. Sabba is an artist, gender equalist, and enjoys keeping her body in shape. These traits would appear irrelevant to our mission but they all come back to create the perfect image of the gamer in the end.

Michael Carolan: I fucking love video games. Bam, I said it. I work 40 hours a week delivering pizzas, and still find time to get my daily dose of games on, maintain my relationship, and even write for CLGamer about the video games I play.

Our Friends: Just to be clear, our friends weren’t all super gamers, however in order to make this project work, our friends did enjoy a round of Brawl, or a couple of songs on Rock Band at least. It’s important to show the social side of gaming as we did with our friends, but we’ll get into that later.

So now you have all of your preparations ready.  The dominoes are all in place, it’s now time for us to help your partner become a gamer. Over the next three months if you follow the steps in this guide, you will succeed in having your Player 2.