365//365: Day 008 – Simpsons Wrestling (PSX) [Quickie]

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Most video games have a purpose to them – a reason why we started the game in the first place, or a reason why we would bother playing at all. Whether its to see the end of the game, play against a friend, reach the next prestige level, or anything else relevant. Simpsons Wrestling has no purpose to it. There’s absolutely no reason to acknowledge its existence.

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This is basically The Simpsons and a handful of Springfield’s residents, slapping each other like little girls, inside of a wrestling ring four times larger than normal. There’s absolutely no strategy, no combos, no actual wrestling of any kind. Instead, you pick your character, run around like an idiot, and slap buttons. If you even make an attempt to play this as if it were a proper video game, you’ll find that there’s next to no structure to it. It’s not a wrestling game, nor a boxing game, nor a fighting game, nor a Castlevania game or any other genre or series affiliation. Hell, it’s NOT EVEN A GAME.

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I....wow.

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While Simpsons Wrestling contains some worthy playable 3D character models for a PS1 game, everything else is flat. Literally. Look at the crowd and the backgrounds — they look like cardboard cut outs, poorly drawn and oddly place. Not only is the look off, but the sound is more annoying than Fran Drescher trying to sing Dies Irae in soprano. The music features some god awful tunes that gets progressively worse as you advance. Hearing the same sound bytes the Simpsons game spew out over and over will make you have a cow, man.

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The only redeemable feature to Simpsons Wrestling comes in the ability to turn off everything you hear, via pause menu. Unfortunately, there’s even a drawback to this, as turning off all the sound in the game will enable you to hear yourself choking on your own vomit as you play this “game”. If you ever hated someone so much that you just wish they’d disappear forever, buy them Simpsons Wrestling. They’ll be too busy huddled into the corner in the fetal position, crying their eyes out, to ever bother you again.

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Rating: 1.2