Wolverine!!!

So I have had the pleasure to watch Wolverine:Origins. Let me say wow. Before we get to the nitty gritty let me go over a few things. Wolverine is probably one of the most popular comic book characters of all time. And a movie detailing his background for fans really and seriously does seem like a good idea. It really does but comic book movies rarely get things 100% head on and you can’t please everyone, this I understand but this movie oh man. Where do I begin.

For a the quick sum up this is a story of Wolverine’s back story.It starts with his childhood and finishes a bit after he trashes the Weapon X facility. Oh just in case you didn’t know X means 10 not anything cool like that. It was pointed out during the movie. Simple right? Theres no way this movie could be bad throw in the fact that you have:

Wolverine

Deadpool

Gambit

and Sabretooth

Not to mention other characters like Cyclops,Blob and Agent Zero. How could movie that features a quartet of badasses and some cool comic regulars go wrong?

Simple add this:

Yep Will.I.am. Granted he played one of the lesser known characters,Kestrel who was a part of that ‘dream team’ that both Sabretooth and Wolverine were on. Even still having someone from the Black Eyed Peas in your movie spells doom. Don’t believe me check out the Legend of Chun Li. I firmly believe that mere person prescence can ruin an otherwise great thing, need an example the Kim Kardashian tape, Ray Jay ruins it by existing. Yes Kim is just there like an expensive log but it’s a nice looking log..Anyway back to Wolverine.

The movie opens very akwardly with a young Victor Creed eying a sick-bed ridden Logan in I’m guessing the Revolutionary days. This touching scene of brotherly love is broken up by the ever so pleasant movie domestic violence. It’s here where young Logan unsheathes is iddy biddy baby claws.

MOOOOOOOOOOOOM,there's no more bagel bites MOOOOOOOOM!!!

then he proceeds to kill the guy that killed his dad only to find out that the man he killed was his father D’oH.

Crawling in my skin these wounds they will not heaaalll

This means Wolverine and Sabretooth are brothers….So for the next few minutes we’re treated to what I think was the coolest part of the movie,a brief montage of both of them fighting in every major war. Things get hairy in Vietnam because ‘Tooth was in the mood for a little bit of lovin’ and the US army was throwing some salt in his game. So he does what any gentleman would. He kills his superior officer,Wolvie backs him up.

After their lock up and execution they are recruited into the Weapon X program along with Deadpool, Blob, Will.i.am, Agent zero and Beak. Their very first mission, go into Africa and fuck things up. Seriously that’s like the very next scene. Agent zero shoots stuff then Blob punches a tank and Sabretooh runs on all fours up a wall. Beak apparently isn’t a bird like mutate he has control over all things electronic, mmm creative liberties. Deadpool is a smart-ass but Ryan Renolds isn’t sooo yeah at least he killed some Africans. Here is where Wolverine gets self righteous and leaves the team because he will not kill Africans in real life but in Re5. Then fast forward a few years and Wolverine lives with Silver Fox who is sexceptionally hot. Yes i said sexceptionally because quite frankly she is. So what did Wolverine do after he left the team? He became a lumber jack.

Around this time Wolvie runs into the general for his team. There’s some boring one liners and Wolvie leaves to get his hot native Canadian wife.This is about the 27 minute mark when he delivers his line ‘I’m the best at what I do and what I do ain’t pretty’ and this movie promptly goes to shit afterward. She then proceeds to tell him a native legend about the moon and it’s lover the wolverine then gets killed by ‘tooth about one cut later. Wolverine finds tooth gets beat up and gets a visit from the general again,then gets adamamantium and proceeds to pop out the tub naked screaming about something and then runs around the country side naked.

Note that was watching the super internet version so you could still see the unfinished cgi and cables that supported the actors. There were some cool notes on screen for shot comp too.I think this makes the movie 100 times better.

Quick opinion:

This movie from start to finish was watchable but it’s a special kind of movie bad. The acting wasn’t’ terrible the script was just a bit bland. They invested all their skill points in Wolverine dialogue they neglected the other characters . They don’t rely too much cgi at the beginning but near the end oh boy. I would watch this on a long flight and fall asleep to it or something. It’s definitely geared to the more casual comic fan. Which is i don’t know who, I read comics but not very often but I am familiar with origins and who characters are and I was like pffft. I can only imagine how he die hards would take it.
The opening credits by far is the coolest moment in the movie.

There are more spoilers/rants and plot at the very end of this post. You have been warned.I’ll be more than happy to discuss this weekend on strangers with comics. Here are some of the creative liberties taken:

• Deadpool apparently can grow his katanas out of his arms and shoot optic blasts like cyclops after the Weapon X program. He can also teleport naturally.
• Cyclops has always had his ruby quartz 70′s porn star sun glasses.
• The blob is fat bastard and gets tattoos.
• Sabretooth runs on all fours.
• Gambit can run vertically up walls, twirl his staff like a helicopter, can move objects with his mind. His explosions aren’t a big deal.
• White queen is apparently Silver fox’s sister and met cyclops before jean did.
• Toad is younger than Cyclops.
• That villain from the avengers who makes tornadoes is apparently a mutant.
• Quicksilver and Cyclops are in the same age group.

• Silver fox’s power apparently controls men through touch.

Oh by the way i’ll be on Strangers with Comics the pod cast talking gaming and this crap with gabe so check it out.Apparently I was on Cinemax, I wish they’d let me know these things .

Spoilers and plot.Spoilers and plot.?

So once Logan gets beat up by ‘tooth he gets his adamantium and goes to look for ‘tooth. Now the people at the Gov’t didn’t like that so they tried to kill Wolvie. Wolverine tracks down two members of his former team Blob and Wraith for information Blob gets into a fight with Wolverine and loses and spills the beans about Gambit . Also it turns out ‘tooth is still working for the general ruh oh!. Will.I.Am and logan go looking for Gumbo find him and Will.i.Am is killed about 5 minutes later. Tooth gets beat up by adamantium Wolverine but Gambit noobs out and tries to beat Wolverine and can’t. The movie is called Wolverine someone should have really broke the fourth wall for him. Sabretooth also kidnaps a young cyclops. Why didn’t Cyke blast ‘Tooth? The world may never know. So showdown on a island with a nuclear reactor Wolverine gets inside to find out it was all a lie. Silverfox wanted to save her sister but yes the love was real to her too….Sabretooth and Wolvie get into another fight and Wolvie wins it easy. Wolverine helps out fox in saving her sister and other mutants and runs into Weapon 11 aka the deadpool….(not the proper use for this name, why? Read about Deadpool) Dead pool looks very silly and can grow katanas out of his arms and shoot lazer beams. White queen apparently always could turn into diamonds and it looks cheesy . Silver fox gets shot somehow. Wolverine and Deadpool fight some more and on top of a nuclear reactor, Tooth and wolvie then team up to beat Deadpool. Meanwhile while the scooby doo mutants are escape Cyclops hears Jean luc Picard and guides them to him.

Wolverine sees a shot Silverfox and goes to comfort her and carry her out when he is shot by the general with adamantium bullets. The general shoots Wolvie in the head goes over to finish off Silverfox but can’t because Silverfox touched his leg and now controls him. Wolvie wakes up with amnesia,Gambit is like ‘lets GTFO’ and Wolverine is all ‘who he hell are you, what’s my name argghh rage! ok lets go’ then runs off and sees a dead Silverfox probably has some ideas for her body later tells Gambit to leave . Movie ends. You get a shot of wolverine in Japan drinking.

UPDATE saw the full version….didn’t change much.